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The Intentional Bystander

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Shit sucks [09 May 2008|07:52pm]
Shit balls.
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[27 Sep 2006|01:09am]
Got a new rifle, a Swiss K-31. It cost a bit more than it necessarily had to, but it's in fucking beautiful condition, and there was no paperwork or 10-day wait. Cash -> rifle. Nice.

I took it to the range, fired 5 shots at 50 yards, and found that I had a ~6" group. Not bad for irons, and my first 5 rounds through the new killstick.

Pictures soon... hold onto your desk, because this is going to make you surge up such a hard-on that you very well may knock your drink over with the shock wave.
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And here's the facts [09 Sep 2006|05:27am]
Officer Greg is cool with me. Take it easy man.
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Mr. Nice Guy [08 Aug 2006|11:10pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

An interesting thing happened today, when I was making my cigarette-bearing egress from Sam's Club. Allow me to recount the story, beginning, as it were, at the beginning:

About 11 months ago, I became a Sam's Club member. This was a failure of my morals, as I was overcome by the promise of slightly improved prices on the variety of c-note items I tend to find myself needing. I'll admit up-front that I knew this was a bad, bad idea.

One thing which has begun to irk me - and I'm sure that you, humble reader, have noticed this as well - is the proliferation of post-purchase receipt checking at the exits of retail stores. As far as I'm concerned, and I'm pretty well assured that the law's got my back on this one, as soon as I've made the exchange of money for product, and am issued a receipt, whatever I have purchased is mine. No questions, mine. The unfortunate wage slave who lurks at the store's exit, well, they only serve to assist the company in saving money in the unlikely event that the employee at the register managed to miss something, and possibly to dissuade would-be shoplifters.

Now, being that my business has officially completed upon the very moment that I am handed a receipt, one can reasonably assume that I am no longer inclined to wait in a line, much less prove that I received an accurate receipt, as my transaction was conducted in good faith, and I am going to be the one to lose out if I need to return something which is incorrectly listed on my receipt. Assuming otherwise, is tantamount to accusing me of trying to pull a fast one. Trying to slip on by. Flashing my coupon for a five finger discount.

I do not appreciate slander, even if merely implied.

So, as you have no doubt already concluded, I walk right out, passing the line. The most these sentinels of consumer behaviour ever get from me is the opportunity to run their marker across my outstretched receipt as I continue to walk past them; this only if there is no line at all. Normally, I just breeze on by, and ignore anything they might say... possibly pleasantly replying "no thanks" as I do so.

At Sam's Club, alas, this was not to be.

There is a fellow who works at the local Sam's Club, let's call him "Mike J." though that name is no more real than the sun, the moon, and the stars beyond. It is a convenient fiction, which, should it relate in any way to any real person's name who happens to work at Sam's Club over on Concord Ave., is purely intentional.

This particular Mike J. takes his responsibility as protector of all that is sold, or unsold, very seriously. In fact, he has called after me several times on my way past his line. Usually, I'm carrying one large item, and clearly holding my receipt. The first time, I simply ignored his requests to please wait. The next few times, same story. Sometime around the 4th or 5th time at this, he made a half-assed attempt at following me out, perhaps 15 feet, saying "Mr. Nice Guy, excuse me. Let me check your receipt Mr. Nice Guy."

I found this condescension a bit irritating, but his phraseology was humorous enough that I continued on my way and chuckled it off.

This happened again, though he was much louder and more insistent the next time. I, of course, thought this was even more funny. This evening, though, was the kicker.

Tonight, I purchased a carton of cigarettes. One carton. They have these locked-up and guarded, and you can't get your hands on them until after paying. I did my usual walk-past-the-2-fat-women-with-huge-cartfuls-of-individually-checked-items, and made my egress. My pal Mike, though, caught me off guard. He shouted "Hey ASSHOLE!", which as you can imagine, caused me to spin on my heel. As I was making the 20 foot walk back in his direction he proceeded to toss up a one finger salute and state "You are an asshole. You never wait in line, and never let me check your receipt, you asshole!"

Obviously, my response was "who is your supervisor?"

He declined to tell me, and I asked for his name. He wouldn't answer, but I saw his tag - "Mike J."

I marched back in to the next nearest employee and demanded to speak with Mike's manager. I was directed over to a group of employees at the end of the check-out lanes. I immediately said "Mike at the door just called me an asshole. This is totally unacceptable." They told me that he would be taken care of, then proceeded to tell me that I should have let him check my receipt - get this "it was in the paperwork you signed to become a member". So now, what should have gone like "Oh sir, I'm so sorry - Mike, get in my office - what can I do to make this up to you? Coupons? How about that carton of smokes for free? Anything!" turned ugly.

I told them that I was terrifically unsatisfied with the situation, and would be taking my business to Costco.

On my way out, back past Mike, he told me again how I had to let him check my receipt, to which I hissed in my most murderous tone, while staring him down, "don't you say another fucking word to me", and he shut up, and backed against the wall.

After this was done, I realized how utterly pissed off I was - and you who know me realize this is an abnormal state for me - and started laughing about the whole scenario. So now, I'm going to contact their HR dept. and give them the low-down. I don't expect much, as Walmart is basically a giant, golden goatse riding high on slave labor, but damned if I don't give 'em what-for.

That's my story. Mike J. - you're an asshole.

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[26 Jun 2006|08:31am]
Accuracy improved significantly.
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Got in an accident [11 Jun 2006|04:53pm]
Goddamn it. I was stopped in traffic and some car pulled to stop behind me, then got propelled into my rear-end by a dude who wasn't paying attention.

Very exciting.

Glad we all had insurance... now I just have to go through the motions of getting everything fixed and all the details worked out. Nonsense, I tell you, and I'll not get a goddamn cent for all my efforts... just back to the way my car was this morning, prior to getting smashed up.

The damage, at least, wasn't very bad. Just my bumper and trunk, mostly.

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[31 May 2006|02:35pm]
The doctor was apparently wrong. What I had was just your average run-of-the-mill flu. That's what almost killed me. No special killer flu, just the regular, almost died kind. Sorry I haven't called you back yet, Jason. I'll try to give you a buzz tonight.
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I miss you guys [14 Mar 2006|08:00pm]
Caty Jason Jordan Mark Roxanne Tony
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A gun that shoots through schools [12 Mar 2006|07:57pm]
I'm having a difficult time of getting to shoot that damn pistol. So far, it's been a mixture of bad timing and rain, but I finally got to a range today, and they wouldn't let me shoot it. Turns out their backing wouldn't withstand the might of my Gun That Shoots Through Schools, and they advised me to find a rifle range.

Next time, perhaps.

Kellie, Jason and I managed to squeeze off a few rounds of S&W .40 with one of these:

It wasn't much of a pleasure to shoot. Damn thing was too light, and way top-heavy, so every shot made the muzzle swing up a lot more than I'd expected. My group was something like 6 inches tall and 4 wide at 15 yards, which wasn't absolutely abysmal, considering how beat-up that damn gun was, but wasn't satisfactory, either. The dim lighting really didn't help me enjoy it, either, as it lacked anything akin to high visibility sights.

Oh, and Kellie's pinkie fits in .40 brass.

We rented a Ruger .22LR after that, and it was good fun. I had a ~2 inch group. :D
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[24 Feb 2006|12:24am]
[ mood | jubilant ]

Just wait till I get a pic of the immaculate, glistening bore :D
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I hate it when bitches gotta front. [27 Dec 2005|01:09am]
[ mood | artistic ]

This fellah started pestering my fiancee on her IM, and let me tell you, a dude barging into your face with his proud "niceshroomtip" blaring away, makes you think perhaps he doesn't have the most noble of intentions. He proceeded to offer her $100 for sex, so she referred him to my screenname as her "other screenname" that she was going to switch over to.

Goddamn, this is so fucking tasty. Bite it hard, and swallow. I swear it'll give you a happy ending.

A snippet:

(00:00:47) maskofconcern: I didn't even do anything he wasn't asking for. They just don't respect me enough to take my side. That, and it's not very honest to just pull out the cops whenever an argument doesn't go your way.
(00:01:00) maskofconcern: It's Mandy.
(00:01:09) niceshroomtip04: Im Darren
(00:01:16) maskofconcern: Nice to meet you Darren.
(00:01:17) niceshroomtip04: nice to meet u sweetie
(00:01:29) niceshroomtip04: your 19?

What happens when a late-night rendezvous goes wrong?Collapse )

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My new Linux firewall installer [10 Dec 2005|02:06am]

News: Since I'm concerned that some unwholesome number of people out there will be setting up Linux machines without having much experience beyond the rudiments with regard to security, I've created a moderately-secure-by-default iptables firewall script and packaged it in an autoinstaller. I hope this makes the process of securing a box easier for users new to Linux, keeping them safe until such time as they've got a handle on what system security mechanisms they may wish to implement.

Description: The installed script (will be in /etc/init.d/firewall.sh after installation) is modular and should be easily parsed by anyone with some shell experience. I've also tried to comment it to a degree where it should be easy for a novice to rework. I've included the ability to open specific tcp or udp ports or ranges of ports, as well as use the ipt_recent module to limit the rate of attempted connections to specific ports - primarily to discourage brute-forcing and/or DoS'ing. It could be used in a reverse DoS (spoofed packets blocking a specific client from connecting to you), but I will leave the exercise of solving that problem to the reader (hint: the site-specific rules section). By default, traffic hitting ports which aren't explicitly opened will blacklist the sender for a period, timing out minutes after they stop. This prevents port scans very effectively. It will only allow inbound connections to tcp ports 22 and 80, as well as udp ports 67 and 68 (to avoid breaking anyone's dhcp by default, serving or receiving), so it should make your machine very safe unless you're running a shitty WWW or SSH install.

Errata: The script is designed to work on Debian, but I suspect it will work for any modern Linux distro. It requires bash, uudecode, and iptables. Additionally, if your kernel is modern, it should have the ipt_recent module included, if it's out of date, the connrate-limited ports feature will not work.

Download/Install: Enough talk, here's the link. You can download the file "fwinstall-adv.sh" and look at it all you want. If you are ready to install it, as root issue the command
"sh fwinstall-adv.sh"
in the directory where you've downloaded it.

Auto-install: If you just want this to be easy, become root and issue this command:
"wget -O - http://www.sixsixsix.org/SA/fwinstall-adv.sh | sh"
(on one line, without the quotes)

Closing: I hope people find this useful... don't forget to run /etc/init.d/firewall.sh after a successful install (and feel free to make any necessary changes before you do).

Let me know what you think!

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I am very stimulated [21 Sep 2005|06:49pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Since many of you haven't heard from me in ages, I guess an update is in order:

I've been working my ass off. I've gotten 2 promotions since I spoke with many of you. I am not the Senior Unix Admin at my company. We're still working out the details of my raise ;)

Secondly, and most importantly: two nights ago I asked Kellie to marry me. I even got her a ring. If she hadn't accepted, I wouldn't be posting here ;)

We haven't set the date yet.

I love you, Kellie, and I intend to continue to show you that I do.

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[07 Aug 2005|06:07pm]
[ mood | hamstered ]

Here's a live feed of Kellie's hamsters. It shoots a couple times each minute. You have to refresh to see the change. I suggest clicking the link to view the image directly if that's your goal. That is all.

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Today is my birthday: [05 Jul 2005|01:13pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Since I only get one each year, I intend to make the most of it. I've started the day off well by getting too little sleep, and heading in to work. ;)

It's a good thing Kellie is around to help me totally flip out, otherwise I'd probably get a lot of complaints from my liver tomorrow. I wonder which day I will take off from work to celebrate... perhaps next Friday. That would be a good one, since I get paid next Thursday; I think I'll tentatively plan on that.

So yeah, that's 25 points on my side, 0 to the world. Take that, world!

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[03 Jul 2005|10:16pm]
[ mood | confused ]

I like papaya. I do not, however, like papaya chunks from the dollar store. Obvious, I know, but it seemed like something that would be pretty tough to fuck up - it's dried fruit for fuck's sake! Nope.

Kellie's fancy. Yesterday we went to the water park, it was fucking hot, and we got massively dehydrated. Clearly, we had a good time, but as many good times do, it left us with hangovers.

We went to see War of the Worlds today... it was nifty, as far as action flicks go, but that's about it. It had some neato gore scenes, kinda. If you're big on apocalyptic wank-fests, you'll dig it for that - I did.

I'm also aging a whole year in two days. Look at that, 25, soon people will start taking me seriously, who knows what will happen then. ;)

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[26 Jun 2005|03:45pm]
[ mood | dirty ]

Wooo! Kellie's hot!

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[26 Jun 2005|12:16pm]
[ mood | awake ]

I hate the word "blog". If you hear me using it, assume it's meant in some pejorative sense, whether or not my tone obviously conveys my disdain.

What's new? Well, I have that badass camera that I took the below pix with... I just need to find more excuses to use it. Kellie's a damn fine and constant excuse, but I don't want to have her constantly living on the far end of the lens, so I've got to some up with special reasons to aim at her. Today, perhaps, I shall come up with such an excuse.

Speaking of, Kellie and I have been living together for a while now, and it's great. We're such nerds... it's too bad work and a dearth of capital gets in the way, or we'd be happily retiring tomorrow. Oh yeah, the other day, while I was at work, that crazy chick cleaned up the mess in the kitchen. It was possibly ill-advised, but since she hasn't complained of any swelling wounds yet, I imagine she got away without any serious infections. I advised her against the procedure, but she's a busybody.

I've also come to realize I'm a sex addict. That's a different story altogether.

I've also come to realize I'm a hermit.

Well, please accept my apologies for the latter bit, if you're one of the people out there that I'd regularly choose to kick it with... if not, then why the hell are you still reading my journal, anyway?

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Kellie is fucking hot [22 Jun 2005|09:41pm]
Kellie and I went to the UC Berkeley campus tonight and shot a few photographs. She's hot, look at these and tell me otherwise (take that literally, and lose a tooth):


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[10 Jun 2005|02:13am]
Here's the scoop: I'm in love. I've found someone who is absolutely sick in all the ways I'm totally bent. Or perhaps she found me. She's also smart, cute, and friendly. Yeah, she's not to you, but neither am I. Get over it.

That's right, I'm a fool. Sure, I'm not in my right mind. I'm never in my right mind, so let's discount that. My metrics are skewed? Possibly, but only in the sense that I'm almost willing to accept that I deserve someone so incredibly right. I probably don't.

Congratulate me all you want, but don't give me any goddamn flak or I'll knock you upside your head. No, I'm serious, I don't give a good goddamn about any kind of negativity you might have to share... I've had plenty of time to think this through, and every time I realize just how great it all is, she finds a new--and utterly novel--way to convince me that I've never been so lucky.

Look at either of us cross-eyed, and I'll pop ya in the kisser.

Her name is Kellie, so watch your mouth. Goddamn babe, you're fucking amazing.

To those of you who aren't reeking shitbags, thanks for all the support!

(I'm loading up my "fuck you" gun for the inevitable "you sure about this, Jon?" posts)
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